what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
