He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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