batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
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