how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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