YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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