At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
