nutella sex= disaster
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
