he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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