whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize