barbara walters just said penis...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
