btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
