why didn't you poke me back
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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