i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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