Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
