it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.