For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.