why didn't you poke me back
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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