weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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