He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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