well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Every concussion has its silver lining
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
