I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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