I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The Olympian is in my bed
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
