coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
