Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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