you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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