im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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