once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
