Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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