I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
