I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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