Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
