just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
