Don't make out with my wife yet
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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