the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
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She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
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It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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