i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
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I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
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btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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