if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
