I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
