dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
