Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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