She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
