We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
