dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
