Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
