True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
