We won't sleep together?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize