Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
