id be glad to
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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