She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
