I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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