I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
