I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize