After last night, I could never be a politician.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
