No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
