Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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