'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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