What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
