Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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