I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
