The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
