The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
