hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Its about making memories worth repressing
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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