My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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