Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
