My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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