do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
