thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
