It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
