WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
