watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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