it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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