There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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